Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Mike Kitko's Journey from Rock Bottom to Inner Wealth
Episode Details
Transcript
In 2016, Mike Kitko hit rock bottom. He was 300 pounds, drinking to toxic levels, and on the verge of divorce. Why? imposter syndrome. Being a well-paid corporate executive didn’t take the imposter syndrome away, it made it worse.
“Success isn't gonna take away the feeling that you have, that you're a failure or you're a fraud.”
After spiraling into multiple self-sabotage habits, Mike took charge and started reinventing himself. But, his wife didn’t like it. The man Mike was becoming wasn’t the man she knew. She rejected the improved version of Mike. Everything that happened next changed both their lives forever.
“What I've learned is that I've gotta figure out what's best for me. I need to be the leader.”
In the episode we talk about the wake-up call in Mike’s life, the difference between codependency and true love, ways to overcome imposter syndrome, why you’re probably not living up to your full potential, and why you need to be self-centered.
“Your stories come true. Whatever you believe about yourself, you make it true. The flip side of the imposter syndrome is I get to decide who I am.”
Mike Kitko is the founder of Inner Wealth Global which he runs with his wife. There, he coaches, speaks, and helps people find time and money freedom - that’s his zone of genius. He also hosts a podcast and is a Marine veteran. He is the author of Imposter In Charge.
Adversities Mike Kitko had to overcome:
- Feeling suicidal
- Becoming 300 pounds
- Drinking at toxic levels
- Raging imposter syndrome
- Self-sabotage
- Lost his job
- Anger after too many beers
Abundance Mike Kitko created:
- Wrote a book
- Became a role model for his children
- Running a business with his wife
- Operating in his zone of genius
Lessons from Mike Kitko’s adversities
- If someone is close to you, but fights who you are - they’re not your ally.
- The reason you’re in a headlock is that you don’t believe in yourself.
Tune in as Mike Kitko and Jamie talk about:
(00:00) Addiction, Obesity, and imposter syndrome
(08:20) Mike’s typical week
(11:23) Why he always felt like an imposter
(16:20) How the stories you tell yourself come true
(18:40) Hitting rock bottom
(21:32) Why he filed for divorce (after 16 years of marriage)
(24:45) Being selfish vs. being self-centered
(30:55) Your kids aren’t listening, but they’re watching
(32:23) 1 rule for entrepreneurial success
(37:21) Writing a book
(38:18) Codependency vs. love
(41:10) Do marriage and money take hard work?
(47:44) Rapid-fire questions
(54:52) Connecting with Mike Kitko
Links
Nancy Erickson The Book Professor
The Imposter in Charge by Mike Kitko
Connect with Mike Kitko:
WEBSITE: https://www.innerwealthglobal.com/
PODCAST: https://www.innerwealthglobal.com/podcast
TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mikekitko?lang=en
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mike_kitko/
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Speaker 1
00:00
This episode is awesome, guys. Mike Kitt Co a self-mastery coach speaker published author spend some time with us, and we dive into how he used to be a corporate executive, making good money. But had a real downward spiral where he was drunk and you know, sounds like his kids were grown up in saw, some abuse and things, they never should have seen, and he gets very vulnerable here, talking about how you hit rock bottom in 2016 and reinvented himself really, and is such a better father, you know, husband and entrepreneur now than he ever was, we talk about spiritual Freedom, he's a prior Marine, so he's got military service and was a great leader throughout his corporate career but suffered from I guess, you know, imposter syndrome, he wrote a book about called The Imposter in charge. He ballooned up to 300 pounds and was drinking. His wife was, was high a lot on drugs and sounds like they went through some really Rocky times up until about 2016, and then he just took control of his own life, it started to get healthy and it's an incredible turnaround that we walk through. He Mentor and a coach for himself, and then he actually ended up filing for divorce and that turned his. I guess it was a wake-up call for his wife, and they were able to work through their issues and now they're business partners and I think she's the CEO of his company, and he's making more money than ever. He's got his own podcast called lead, love prophet and play, and man, he's, he works with entrepreneurs all the Time and it's a huge. It's just all about mindset and taking control the difference between being self-centered and being selfish. We talked about finding your zone of genius. And man, there's so much to unpack here. I really enjoyed this one and I know you will too investors. Have you ever felt.
Speaker 2
02:16
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Speaker 1
02:48
Welcome to the form adversity to abundance podcast. Are you an entrepreneur or aspiring entrepreneur? Then this show is.
Speaker 2
02:56
For you. Each week, we bring you in paxville stories of real.
Speaker 1
03:01
People who have overcome painful human adversity, to create a life of abundance. You are not alone in your struggle, join us, and you will experience the power of true stories and gain practical Knowledge, from Founders, who have turned poverty into prosperity and weakness into wealth. This podcast will encourage you through your health relationship and financial challenges, so you can become the hero in your quest for freedom. Take ownership of the life, you are destined to live turn your adversity into abundance. Welcome everybody to another episode of the form adversity, to abundance podcast. I am your host Jamie Bateman, and I am thrilled today to have with us. Mike Kitt Co Mike is the founder of inner wealth Global, and he's an executive self-mastery coach speaker published author. We will get into more of that here in a bit but Mike, how are you doing today? I am awesome. And thanks for having me, and we got so much more in common than the military history. The we're both Baltimore.
Speaker 2
04:10
And so that's a bad.
Speaker 1
04:11
Solutely. Yeah, we were chatting a little bit before the show and I said to Mike, I said, you know, I think we could do like five or six episodes, just the two of us here because there's so many, so many rabbit holes. We could go down the military and then the Baltimore piece and then, obviously, you're an entrepreneur now and you deal with entrepreneurs, which is the kind of The Listener out there. So man, I know you're, this is going to be a great one. I can feel it already, so tall. Talk to us, Mike, a little bit about who you are today. Who you work with what you do today before we, before we jump into your backstory? Awesome.
Speaker 2
04:48
So, I in 2016, I founded, inner wealth Global, I am the founder CEO, I guess, you could say, but we touch people, especially entrepreneurs around the world. And really, what we're after Jamie is to try to help them like, wake up every single day. In the first thought go through their mind is, oh my God. I can't believe I get to live this life like I have It's such an exceptional life with time, freedom and Financial Freedom, and the freedom to be themselves. And to say yes, when they want to say, yes, and no one they want to say, no. And that's what the, that's what the investor is, what the entrepreneurs really after, right? We just want, like control of our finances and control of our day and nobody calls the shots for us. That's really what we want, and I get to work with those people. I get to work with established entrepreneurs and people that are kind of fresh on the trail, that, that know, they want that know, there's something more to life than just clocking in and clocking, In out and, and saying, you know, and saying, yes, because somebody else wants them to say, yes. I mean, that's really what we want. And I work with those people around the world and I help them understand what's in them, trying to get out what purpose in them, is trying to get out, what, what impact is going to create wealth and create positive change in the world, plus create prosperity, and abundance and wealth for themselves. And also I help them understand, you know, how to get inside of themselves in their mind in their bodies and I call that all that worry in the doubt and the fear because I mean, look, you can have all the time Freedom, you want and all the financial Freedom you want, but if you wake up in cold sweats in the middle of the night, you're not going to enjoy any of it. So without that last one, then I call it spiritual Freedom. The other two don't matter. So unless we get in there and clean that s*** out then, you know, it's not going to be worth it. So why not have all of it ma'am. Absolutely. I have, I have masterminds, I have a podcast. I am pretty proud of the fact that, you know, it's called inner wealth Global for a reason and I kind of pre-positioned that name because my intention is to be able to create impact on all seven continents and I got six so far again, six continents that I have touched that. I am still looking for Antarctica. But yeah, just making a difference, just waking up making a difference. I used to wake up for myself on a daily basis, just to fill my bank account. Now, it's now it's about waking up and making an impact and because I make an impact in my bank account, it grows itself. Yeah, I loved it.
Speaker 1
07:09
That's, there's so much there. And you know, it's one thing that comes to mind is Right. Currently my wife and I are just each very busy and both together very busy with some, some family things we're working through. But she's got a she doesn't have, you know, she works for someone else and I work for myself, and we were you know, jokingly saying who's busier kind of thing not as a competition but just, you know, just kind of for fun, and she's like I got all these deadlines and bubble on. I was like I got all kinds of deadlines to, and she's like, yeah. But I, you know, I have bosses. I was like yeah I guess you're right your. Yeah, you win. You win this struggle, you know, because I quit my job last year and I do have people, I certainly need, you know I have clients. I investors in that kind of thing but the end of the day she's absolutely right. I mean I don't have to work. I mean, I you know, so it's wonderful when you can find that kind of Freedom where your you are in control of your day to day. But at the end of the day, couldn't agree more. It's all about adding value to others and bringing, you know, value to others. It's not about how much money can you accumulate? And so before we write, before we jump into your, your backstory here, what does kind of, what does a typical just high level quickly? Overview, what's a typical week look like for you?
Speaker 2
08:31
I don't have many obligations. I don't have many commitments. I think most of my teaching is wrapped up in. I have a mastermind and it's full of those entrepreneur types that are looking for that, for that next mindset, that next heart said edge that's going to propel them into that. That next level that they're looking to achieve but I do have employees. So I have staff calls with my employees, and we have you know, business meetings and strategy meetings and I have a few one-on-one clients not Very many, but for the most part, you know, I might have two or three meetings a day, I have a lot of time, freedom and a lot of flexibility. And I love that because what happens is in a typical day, I will have a client that we have an unscheduled call or, or we have an unscheduled message, and they're in a headlock in some way, and they will text me and, or they will message me and I have that freedom, I had that flexibility to be able to address that, right? And that's what creates a an exceptional I guess. One on one relationship is the ability, not just a Meet a scheduled requirement to be on, you know, but to be in lockstep and shoulder to shoulder with people. But my wife and I both, you know, she's I said, CEO of our business because my wife is kind of the CEO, she operates as a CEO. Right now, I just kind of back off and just teach, but the point is, we both work out of our home, and we navigate this life together, and we spend a lot of time together. We do, and we work in the business, and we work outside of the business, and we Have fried eggs together, and we my kids are 18 and 20 and now, so will be empty nesters this year. We got one our way, a college. And we got one that's three months away from being out of the house. So we have kind of built this life where life, and business merge, and we will be sitting at lunch together, talking business, or will be on the staff Call talking life it. And it's a beaut. It really is a beautiful entanglement of no obligations and it's not I guess the easiest way for me to explain it. I don't coach, I am its who I am its in the genetics, it's in the DNA. It's not something I do for a living. It's something I do in the grocery store line, so there's no shot off. This is which for any of this is just waking up every day to make an impact, wherever I am, no matter what I am doing and no.
Speaker 1
10:49
Matter what I have in progress. Yeah, so we're going to get some free coaching out of you then today.
Speaker 2
10:54
So that's a nice to goal.
Speaker 1
10:57
But it reminds me of James Clear talks about that and atomic habits, but it's not something I do. I mean, I don't just have to go for a run. It's I am a runner. You're not her kind of sure. So yeah, we could have a whole episode on how you navigate business with a spouse. My wife and I have had that experience as well, and he has it has its unique challenges, but that's not what this show is going to be about. So, talk to us, Mike, let us jump into your background. I know you have been through some painful Eggs and some real adversity in your life. And we're not going to stay there for the whole conversation, but if you would jump back to the point where things kind of were off the rails for you and things fell apart, and we're going to kind of focus on that adversity for a bit. So take us there if you would awesome. So.
Speaker 2
11:47
I mean, you and I had that the Baltimore connection to the Maryland connection. So I grew with born and raised in Baltimore Maryland, but I joined the Marine Corps in 1992 a couple years after I graduated from high school, and I was US Marine veteran. So between 92 in 97. I was in the United States Marine Corps and I got out, I got was right between the two Gulf Wars and what, when I got out in 97 quickly found a job, it was a great job market. So that's one of the reasons I actually exited. The United States, Marine Corps, and I met my wife in 1999, and abnormal psychology and together. Really when we got together, it was really just about making money, making money just you know, material wealth material, accumulation it I could really heavy focus on how rich him a quality of life could we live? And we moved from Maryland to Portland Oregon's part of a corporate move as a corporation I worked with and I quickly ascended the ranks and you know it's I am a I was a really good marine and Marine leader and I exited a T5 but either way point big is it was good leader and it was noticed and it was recognized and in all my corporate careers or my corporate Companies and I quickly Rose the ladder of success and I got recruited by another company to come in around, 65 million dollar manufacturing plant, and then I got recruited. You know to St. Louis. From Portland Oregon, I got recruited the to St. Louis to come and run at 350 million dollar plant. And so the entire time I didn't feel like I was very talented. I didn't feel like I was very valuable and in fact I wrote a book called The Imposter in charge. It was kind of like my Treatise to say, here's who I really am. And here's all the Garbage that I dealt with. So anyway, I always felt like an imposter in a fraud because I didn't love any of my corporate time. I always thought that I was just like tricking them and like as soon as they found out that I wasn't that good that I was up all going to fall apart and it didn't, I became 300 pounds and suicidal and drinking a toxic levels and, and in March of 2016. For the second time in about 20 months, I got terminated from a position, this is after a lot of success that I had. So 20 months like really quickly. And bang. And I knew I had to do something different and what I try to do different is get back into a corporate role and I say that tongue-in-cheek is I was going to do it differently this time, right?
Speaker 1
14:09
Sure. Let me just jump in for real quickly. So I am just curious. When you say I understand I think on some level we all sometimes suffer from maybe imposter syndrome and I think that's a tough line to Define as far as you know, fake it till you make it versus pushing your boundaries and learning as you go because you Do you need to push yourself? We all need to push ourselves and do things where, you know, maybe a little bit afraid of. So I guess my question really comes down to where you were. You kind of presenting someone that you weren't really. You could live up to, was it more in your head or was it that you were fooling them?
Speaker 2
14:48
It was it was I was fooling them because it was projected confidence, right? It was completely internal was all about what I believe. That it was self-perception. It was all about the stories. I was telling myself about who I was, there was plenty of evidence Jamie that I was talented, I kept getting promoted and I kept getting shot me and I got raised after rays and, you know, brought all over the country to train and run operations. So the evidence was there that I was, I was good, and I was adequate and I had talent. I just wouldn't allow myself to believe it. Like there was this pain point in my body that you know, and look if you do any mindset work, you're going to find out that the That you learn between zero and seven, you kind of lock in your subconscious who you really are your kind of like self-concept, really formulates really early in your life. So when you're in a house where people are telling you that you're not talented and you're not good, you're not good enough and you're raised and that type of environment then you're going to struggle to believe that you're ever good. And then when somebody says, hey, you're talented, you're going to your inner narrative is going to take over and dominate, right? So you're going to reject that and you say no, I just tricked. You too well. Again, the evidence was there that I was really good, and I was down with it. I just wouldn't let myself believe it and feel it so and it was like, I was just running from, I was just running from that conversation my whole life and I kept drinking it all tried to drink it away and tried to, you know, have sex enough to make it go away. And I tried to watch enough sports to make those stories go and I could make it go away. I felt like I was like everything was going to fall apart at some point and it.
Speaker 1
16:24
Did and it did. So you're the reason you lost Your job sounds like twice. We're been almost self-sabotage in a sense. What when you are holding this story that your life is going to fall.
Speaker 2
16:36
Apart, then you make it happen. Write your stories come true. I mean, the whatever you believe about yourself, you make a true and this is like, this is the, the flip side of the Imposter syndrome is I get to decide who I am. You don't get to decide who I am. I get to decide who I am and I tell you who I am. I don't wait to for you to tell me who I am. I get to tell you. I can decide Why do I want to be any time? Like, I know you do some mortgage work, and some real estate investing work. Look up, one guy was, I was at a speaking engagement and guy says, how did you, how did you like become a coach? I said, I started telling people. I was coach and absolutely, is that it? I said, yeah, that's pretty much it. I just started telling people that I was a coach. And then somebody said, hey, I was looking for a coach, would you want to sit down and click? Yes. And then my client portfolio built. It literally is that simple. There're no rules to this. Sting you get to decide who you want to be, I don't need a, there's no license for coaching. There's now or speaking or writing a book, your podcasting. There're no licenses of for any of this stuff, you just decide to be it and then the world meet you there but if you decide that you're a fraud and that you're an imposter, then you aren't the world sees you there and it will eventually fall apart, right? It will catch up to you.
Speaker 1
17:52
Absolutely, no there plenty of people with lots of, you know, triple digits after Double. Or triple digits after their name and different titles and things that absolutely just frankly, suck. Lastly.
Speaker 2
18:07
Look up I worked at work, probably my most financially valuable client net worth. Why's he was a nine-figure guy, easy, and he was always, I need more in common. He was like money was the root of all his pain. So money doesn't solve a poverty mindset and poverty hearts that Success isn't going to take away the feeling that you have that you're a failure or your fraud.
Speaker 1
18:33
But also that the people with, maybe a PhD or an MD and their title doesn't necessarily their mean that they're actually good at their role, but talk to us more about 2016. Let us dive in what? Thanks sounds like you were drinking, you're overweight, you lost your job and what it sounds like things really fell apart. So let us drill down on that a little bit.
Speaker 2
18:56
Yeah, March 18th 2016. I came I am home from work for the second time and told my in 20 months and told my wife, I lost the job. And, you know, she went into complete panic because that's the only thing I ever had. We had, we had money, and we have materials, and we tried to show a we were that Facebook that people those people on Facebook, that showed the world that everything was put together. But inside, you know, there was a, there was physical mental and emotional abuse inside my house, my kids were raised in a completely toxic environment seeing me drink way too much. And see my wife pop pills and being paralysis and pharmaceutical it And for four weeks and weeks at a time, and they saw, you know, they saw physical violence, and they saw just s*** that they should have never been exposed to right from any, I guess for many for any good parenting together. But with the point is, is when I knew that second time that, you know, I mean, I needed to do something different and I started working with a mentor and it was the first time that I really ever expressed my truth. And who I really was, and what I really felt and what was going on inside of my mind and my body, and we started working Going on clarinet stuff out. And, you know, this is when I decided to start writing the Imposter in charge, where the first, the first chapter is really just all and it was, it came out in 2018. So it's not like I am on a promotional tour for this thing, right? But, uh, but it, you know, I just I kind of like opened up my soul and said look here's what's who I have really been in this lifetime and here's what's really been going on the ruse is over, and I am kind of going to let all the skeletons out of the closet, but I started putting myself back together. They're in my stories and I started unraveling, you know, I guess stories about, you know, religious stuff that I had been taught that didn't fit for me and economic stuff that didn't fit for me and success stuff. The basis of success, I mean, my father taught me that making money was hard, and he told me I had to work really, really hard and the man was going to rob from you and the rich people are greedy. And you know I mean he hit marriage is hard, my Dad loved me. A lot, but he told me a lot, he taught me a lot of really, really painful stuff. That wasn't true was true for him and because it was true for him. He made it true, but they weren't true, right? They these are beliefs. That he adopted that he started to teach me because he thought he was doing me a service. And all I did was take these beliefs that he taught me and I put him in play and put him in action. So the point is, I got to clear out a lot of this mess and a lot of these old Antiquated false painful beliefs, that I You know, been carrying around since I was like, you know, a little kid. But anyway, the point being is when I started making these shifts and started making these changes and started taking care of my body and eating better and exercising, and running and, you know, breeding healthy books and, and journaling, and meditating and listening to podcast. My wife was like, I don't like this. I don't like this guy. Like, I don't like this person. Yeah, though, this knows you did, this isn't who I married like that. Go get a job and I Iiii I interviewed for a couple jobs and I came up runner-up about four or five times, and she's like you need to find a job. Stop journaling, stop reading your book. Stop exercising, go find a job. I need security, we need benefits, and she fought and attacked so much. I filed for divorce. And when I, when I came home, and I told her, because we had threatened. I mean, we had been together for 16, 17 years at the time. When I came home and told her that I filed for divorce, she laughed at me because she was still high. And then the very next Morning, when the buzz wore off, she came downstairs, crying, and she said, how do we put this thing back together? I don't want this. And we went to na that night, and we both started cleaning up man, you know? And, and we start to put started rebuilding everything from the inside out.
Speaker 1
22:43
And there are so again, we could literally, there's, I will say 10 episodes. Actually, this one we could hold but for someone out there, who might be kind of at rock, bottom or close to rock bottom, or just going through some very difficult times. And you said, you found a mentor and it's inevitable. We're going to gloss over a lot of the pain and a lot of the work you did put into sure to kind of dig deep and work on yourself. But how does someone go about, how do they find? How did you find your Mentor?
Speaker 2
23:15
Yeah, he was actually a friend of mine, believe it or not. And when we were, he actually sat next to me in graduate school and, and he had made a life change, and he had made a pivot, and he lived in Portland, Oregon. And I Already moved the St. Louis, but I was watching him on social media, and he was losing weight, and he was putting all these, these fancy positive, you know, messages on Facebook. And I am like, who the f*** do you think you are? Like, I know who you really are. This isn't who you are and what happened. He started like getting out of the darkness, and he started unwinding in, unraveling all the darkness that he had been running from. And I saw it. So when everything like started falling away and everything did fall apart for me, he was one of the few people that kind of stayed connected to me, and we had a conversation. He's like, what if I can help? And I didn't even know what coaching was the time. Jamie. And I said, what does that mean? What does that look like? Like how did how can you help? And he started telling me about coaching and my thought was, I gotta pay you to be my friend and that's not what it was at all. It wasn't what it was at all because I had never really exposed my soul and who I really was to him. I just kept a lot of Secrets, right?
Speaker 1
24:23
Sure. I appreciate you sharing that. And so, okay, so your File for divorce, your wife. I mean, it's, I mean, I am guessing you were obviously serious about getting a divorce, you know?
Speaker 2
24:33
No, it was done. I found I didn't threaten I file. And in fact, when she said we were going to put things back together, when we were going to work to put things back together. The, the money stayed with the lawyer and the paperwork stayed on the lawyers desk. I am like, look, I am not, I am not effing around, like, if we, if we start backsliding. I am done. And, and this is, like, here's the number one. There's a difference between being living a self-centered life and being selfish. Okay. And this is one of the biggest lessons I have ever had learned to have everybody experience, learn, I was taught that wanting anything for yourself or doing anything for yourself was selfish. Putting yourself first, taking care of yourself like doing wanting things, needing things, Desiring, things, wanting anything on your own. Own terms. I was taught that stuff was selfish and it's not those things are self-centered and speak living a self-centered. Life is a very healthy place to live because you are one of one you are here to live the greatest life possible that you could possibly create with people around you that want for you, what you want for yourself, and all they ask in return, is for you to do the same for them. Like you inspire each other to Leisure, most authentic powerful prosperous, healthy, loving, life possible. And their job is not to get in your way in. Your job is not to get in their way, but one plus one equals three, and we're better together.
Speaker 1
26:13
Yeah, I love it. So yeah.
Speaker 2
26:15
So we're centered life, not a selfish life. What I had done is thought, if I wanted to start a business in my wife, wanted me to get a job. I was being selfish by starting a business. No, I am here to live a life for me in the right people. Jump on the wagon in the Rock the right people. Jump off and turn if someone is that close to you and fights who you are, then they're not working for you. They're working against you. They're not working with you, they're not your ally, they're not there. They're an adversary, right? That's right into the that the title, your podcast.
Speaker 1
26:52
Absolutely. So and one thing that comes to mind this has been a theme in the podcast over the these episodes we have done is that a lot of people, a lot of the guests, we have who have been through a transformation or it certainly overcomes some real adversity in their life. What ends up happening is they let go of the, the focus isn't on. This may be worldly, like, big picture thing, and they end up focusing more internally and in their own network. And in a sense You just said, is taking that to an extreme meaning. So I will give you an example, put it, make it a little more clear in 2015. I had a mindset shift myself. Maybe not as dramatic, not as rock bottom but it was, you know, I was probably I was in a groundhog day, woe is me, I go to work, I sit in a commute all day and then I go you know do the family thing go home you know blah but instead of watching cable news and focusing on things that I couldn't control. I ended up saying no what are my Strengths, who do I know that? You know what are the positive people in my life? And in a sense the same thing you're talking about but you're saying to even more of an extreme where it's actually really focused on yourself, so I haven't articulated it well but basically if you let go of these things you can't control and you end up focusing really on yourself and what you can control, you can end up being a positive influence on those people around you and it ends up not being selfish because you're actually giving so much to others.
Speaker 2
28:26
True story, my wife, when I, when I started working out I have got a gym in the basement and I would come down and I would clink weights all the time and every day, sometimes couple times a day. And this is when I didn't have a job, I didn't have income. I didn't know what I was going to do with the rest of my life. I had no idea. I was in a place of this complete neutrality. I just had no idea what I was doing. Right? I knew a pivot was in process. I just didn't know what it was going to look like, and I would work out and I would fill my time with, with health producing and physical, mental, and emotional, spiritual health. Producing activities, right? For the first time in my life, I stopped doing things that would hurt me. And I started doing things that would actually grow and evolve me and my wife didn't like it, and she would, she would literally she would like, when I was on the treadmill, and I was in my gym, and she would come down and start arguing with me about taking time away from the family. And I mean, it was completely of all it was, was, she didn't feel like she could do that. Like, for whatever reason she didn't feel like she had permission or authority or.
Speaker 1
29:25
Whatever to do. To do that exercising. This is something I was doing. Yeah, right. So suit.
Speaker 2
29:31
And when I do she had, she had argued with me about things like that before when I gave in things, just stayed the same. And this time something was different because no matter what her words couldn't hurt me. And for the first time I had resolved in me that I was going to live the life that I want to live. Whether you like give me permission or not, I am not seeking your permission, it sounds South a****** ish but listen to me. Listen to this like this is called Boundaries and to a person who doesn't have boundaries like setting boundaries sounds and feel selfish, all right. But I was persistent in that I am not giving up these healthy activities for me weather, no matter how hard you fight or how hard you don't, and that's when I filed for divorce. Anyway, couple months later she started getting on the treadmill, and she started clanking weights, and she started signing up for Fitness classes and then a couple months later, Our daughter started doing the same thing. That's awesome. So what I have learned is that I have got to figure out what's best for me. And I need to be the leader because they're watching and if I don't do the right things, if I don't do the health promoting activities, they're not going to either. Yeah, I am here to lead them not to be their little b**** right? So what rock? It's my responsibility to figure out who I want to be and then help them become who they want to.
Speaker 1
30:55
Be sure and another Turkey Point is that you're the best way to lead is by example, right? I mean absolutely I have two teenagers as well, and they don't want to hear what I have to say let us be honest. And Jeannie.
Speaker 2
31:07
What I have learned at like I said, 18 and 20 is they don't listen, they're too busy watching They really good. They don't listen teenagers, do not listen, but they're watching be who you're telling them to be. Because if you're not, they're going to take your Clues. They're not doing what you say. They're doing what you do, my girls are both Fitness crazy now and it all started by me diving in that. Not even my older daughter. She came down, and she said, dad, you're making too many changes like, with like can you slow it down? My baby. I got, I got Years to make up like ha. Like I got, I got some, I got some progress. I got some ground to make up, and she's a scholarship cheerleader and University now, right? And she's a week, she went down and competed it at National. She's been cheering since she was six. But man when she like, when she started really pursuing her dream, the her passion, level went sky-high and all that came from seeing that she could, like, do what she wanted without anybody else's permission.
Speaker 1
32:10
Yeah, well, that's exactly why. We have the show is to show The Listener, show people out there that it can be done and show through stories like yours Mike. That the listener can make changes, you know, it's very possible. So walk us through kind of how you started to touch on how things were rebounding. You have made some incredible changes at this point, you know? And then it's starting to be contagious. Your wife starts making changes, how did your relationship and then the business? How did things progress at that point?
Speaker 2
32:41
Yeah, I mean In early 2017. So about a year later somewhere around March or April of 2017, I signed I got my first, I was sitting down to it to a cup of coffee with another Marine vet, and we were just talking about, you know, talking life and talking shop. And I just ask this magical question, man. And it for all you coach or want to be coaches out there, whatever, you know, whatever aspiring coaches. I just said, hey, what kind of problems are showing up in your life, like, in your life or business? What's got you in a headlock? And he says, man, I got these, it was a traditional real estate. Agent and he says, I have got these big goals and I just I am struggling to get my team motivated. And I just said, what if I can help with that? And, and he said, well, what would that look like I said, well, what if I do? I know I never thought about this before ever. I was what I was looking for one-on-one.
Speaker 1
33:26
Clients. All right, that's all I was looking for one-on-one clients. So I was.
Speaker 2
33:29
Like, Matt this table to try to see if this guy wanted to become a one-on-one client. Sure. But I said, what if I could solve? What if I could help you with that? He said, what would that look like? So let me do a workshop to come in. Let me, let me come in and spend some time with your team, and we started talking. Money and I gave him a really low offer, right? Just to get me in. And before I left that table, I had two workshops. I was going to do one on a Tuesday. I went on a Thursday and out of those two workshops assigned to private clients. So the point being is all I did was asked, what is your problem and how can I help? But don't worry about what I want. How can I help you? What's got you in a headlock? And are you open to help with that? And it's a magical set of questions that will unlock opportunities. Teas that you could have never imagined and that's how I made the transition from corporate executive, the coach simply asking that question, right? Everybody in this world, 8 billion people are walking around with problems that they will pay to have solved. And I was sitting down with an early on in a client relationship with a guy, and he was talking about getting money, you know, giving his bank account going and is getting it is getting his engine. You know, his business engine running. And just as a, you know, Some no story. I guess I just said, hey that guy over there were sitting in a coffee shop. I said that guy over there has a problem. Do you know what her problem is? He said I don't care about her problem. I said that's why you're broke. Wow, that right there, not that, not that you don't know. Her problem is that you don't care what her problem is. So the way we become successful, entrepreneurs, business is very simple, right? I know this is an entrepreneurial podcast, so let us get down to the base. Six of business. All right, this entrepreneurial thing is very, very simple. People have problems and entrepreneurs are problem solvers. When you identify a problem that you can solve at a world-class level and you look for people who have that problem that they will pay to have solved. You start to build your entrepreneurial business and this is how my business. First, full year in business. I hit double six figures. From nothing. Right the first by 2017. I think I did. Thirty six thousand dollars. That was. That wasn't a full year in business. Sure. But 2018 I almost hit double digits, or double six figures. So just by adding the website, no, frickin marketing. I wasn't no paid advertising, simply having conversations and asking people. What's got you in a headlock and what problem, you know, can I help you.
Speaker 1
36:09
Solve? So you didn't have kind of strategic plan a business, Business plan. You just kind of started asking these questions and listening and trying to solve.
Speaker 2
36:18
Problems early on, in my coaching career I wasn't focused on entrepreneurs and I wasn't focused on a now, I work with a lot of Real Estate Investors and you and I were talking about that but who I was focused on work but the problem that I had right? The Imposter syndrome and that's why I wrote that book, it was to help share our Executives, right? Corporate Executives like with the Entre or with the Imposter syndrome and in this was all the marketing I did. — leaders hire me to help them feel as powerful inside as they appear on the outside. And when somebody would say Mike, what do you do for a living? I wouldn't say coach, I wouldn't say speaker. I wouldn't say all this fancy stuff, right? Like everybody else say executive leaders, help me, help me or hire me to help him feel as powerful inside as they appear on the outside. Because that's what I was missing. I knew how to solve that problem. I guess her because I was already in the process of transcending it so well like people when they know that we have transcended a problem, they will Hire us to help them transcend. That problem proof is in the.
Speaker 1
37:15
Pudding. Right? Absolutely. Pretty powerful. So now and then you what made you? I guess. I will say how much work was it writing a book and how was that?
Speaker 2
37:26
Process? It was a year-long and I had started, I had stopped and started that book, four times five times. And I, again, I hired a coach, I have a book coach. He's also my publisher, so, she became a publisher after up. Higher. I finished the book, but she just took me through a process, a step-by-step process of writing the book, and he's she's amazing if anybody wants to connect just reach out and her name is Nancy Erickson. She lives in this local St. Louis area. Shout out Nancy. But anyway, the point is she heard it her name's the book, Professor, but she just walks you through a process for your first book. Especially and gives you a framework that you can't you, I mean it's a slam dunk. You're going to finish this thing. If you just stay on task and on target. Get.
Speaker 1
38:13
Sure. So now before we jump into some of these questions I have for you at what? How did your marriage resolve itself, you know, talk to us a little bit about that because we you know we didn't really close the loop on that one. Yeah. So.
Speaker 2
38:29
Look I am going to show you all right. And if anybody watching the video of this, okay, I am going, I am going to show you the difference between love and love. All right? You're right now, with my right hand, I have got a clue. His fist. Okay. Yeah. And we think that's love and what that really is you are obligated to me. You need to stay with me. We're together forever, you can't get away. I can't live without you if you leave, I won't be okay. And that's, that's called really codependency, is what? That is. It's not loved. Okay, you're here to make me feel comfortable and it's your job to make me happy. And I am not happy, and I can't feel I am not willing to feel. So uncomfortable without you. So you need to stay, right? And then you try to get all of your mental and emotional needs met and sexual needs met through this person. That's a lot of burden to put on somebody. And then there's this other form of love and what I am making a. I have got my palm up in my left-hand right fingers, open, Palm up. And it says, I love you so much that I only want for you, what you want for you, even if that doesn't include me, Well, that's it means you don't need to stay. You're not obligated. I don't need you but I want you desperately and I want you dearly. But if you ever decide that you don't want me, I want that for you and that's okay because I want the best for you and what team he would, I got to realize, love the acronym, love that serves most powerfully is let others voluntarily evolve. So this, this codependent relationship will try to fight to get Of it. This relationship with the Palm up, you can leave if you want. Who the hell would ever leave that? It's safe. It's loving, it's inspirational. My job is to ask my wife all the time. What do you want? How can I help you get that? Like, I don't care what it is, what do you want? And then she does the same for me. So in a relationship in a palm up relationship based on love, letting others voluntarily evolve one plus, one equals three. We're better together. We're more powerful together. This is our safe spot, there's no conflict. There's no drama. There're no attacks right? That s***'s off-limits. We keep that stuff stays outside of these four walls because inside of these four walls, it, their safety security, love protection, Freedom encouragement, inspiration. And we leave all that drama outside of these walls. If there's even any and love is inside these four walls. It's how can I help you be? Even more of who you are and how can I help you get more of what you want to get in this?
Speaker 1
41:07
World? Oh, that's so powerful. You mentioned before, some of the things that have, you know, maybe been instilled in you as at a young age as far as your views on money, religion and I guess marriage as well. So would you say that marriage and making money? Do not take hard work, is that what you're saying? When you're married to the right person? Marriage.
Speaker 2
41:32
Isn't hard. When, when you're, I was on a coaching, call the other day, and I was talking to a guy who's afraid of his wife, spending them into bankruptcy, And he's like, how would you manage your wife spending? If you're afraid that she will overspend, said, wouldn't be married to that person? Like if I have to protect myself from you, then is that really? A is that Jamie? I am just telling these are just my beliefs, sure, but if I have to protect myself from my spouse, my really married to the right person. If I have to protect my finances from my spouse, my really married to the right person. If my spouse doesn't want for me, what I want for myself, am I really married to the right person? We have accepted these things as just a, it is. Just how marriage is you have to fight to stay financially viable and you have to protect yourself and you have to worry about attacks. And you, you know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy that's all b*******. If mama ain't happy. Mama ain't happy. That's not about the.
Speaker 1
42:41
About the hard work piece when it comes to making money because I know you made good money as a corporate executive. Of I did. So even more.
Speaker 2
42:48
Now. So.
Speaker 1
42:51
So we incorporate the approach there.
Speaker 2
42:52
Yeah, in corporate, there was up, there was this thing when I was standing up in front of my team, and I was giving a presentation, and I was talking about the future and talking about the vision and talked about what we were capable of. And what we are achieving and or what was possible, like their eyes were locked on me. And I had their attention, and they always walked out like more motivated and inspired than when they walked in. And people would say, like you're a good speaker and I would say, no, I am not because I felt like an imposter, there's a book Jamie. There's a book called the big leap B IG L, EA P, the big leap in his by a phone, nging Hendrix. And it's he talks about getting in your zone of Genius. So there's a couple zones and one of them's is own of Excellence or the Zone of competence but the highest level is your zone of genius. And most people are living in their zone of Excellence. It's what they don't enjoy. Probably makes a good income, your you don't necessarily enjoy, you know, you don't wake up inspired to do this thing but you do it because you get good results. It makes good income and you know your quality of life is okay. But there're his own called The Zone of Genius. Where what you do is easy and effortless. And you don't lose like, you don't lack motivation and you don't lose inspiration and you will do it without getting paid. And you will get paid a lot of money for doing this. We all, we all have one, but most people haven't found it, and they're not even looking for it.
Speaker 1
44:24
I need to check that out. I think I have heard of that books. But what, it makes me think of, as you know, people have the question of kind of, maybe younger people, but even someone going through a midlife crisis as well. You know what should I do with my life? And should I follow my passion? Should I Do not follow my passion? And personally, I think, and again, I haven't read the book but you should try to find where, you know if you have a Venn diagram where your passion kind of overlaps problem-solving, which is what you're talking about because it's not selfish. It's not just oh, I like, you know, being an artist and that's what makes me happy. That's cool. That's fine. But are you solving problems? Are you actually adding value? Maybe, maybe you are not saying you can't do it that way. Sure. But I think, you know, Both exist either extreme is not good where you're following your passion but you're not listening to others and not trying to solve their problems. You're not going to get paid much for that. It's not going to be successful, really? And then the other extreme, which I think is maybe kind of what you were doing. As a corporate executive, it could be wrong but chasing the dollar chasing the money you know, but not really following your passion at all. So I mean I can tell you wake up every day and you love what you do.
Speaker 2
45:36
So I do what in corporate I did a thousand things every day, right? Or in a week and some of those were, you know, pnl related and hr-related and recruiting related, and I interviewed people, and I did all of that. Managed process, engineers, and process lines and Supply chains. Ah, man, I hated that stuff, but two things. I would say two things that I love that. I was getting ready to say woma. There're two things that I love and that's developing people and developing teams, I could do that. A world-class level in my sleep. But there was this thing. There was this, there was this time when I managed that 65 million dollar plan, I walked in when I took over that plant, there were, there were six functional leaders, and I immediately recognized that three of them were in way over their heads. They weren't talented enough to really be successful in that role. I let those three go I hired to, to, to replace them. So I eliminated the position and out of those five functional leaders, we created the best functional. Team that, I mean, I have never seen anything like it. And that wheat in three years, we completely overhauled that manufacturing plant. It was the COS said, it's a dinosaur, and they were getting ready to sell it. And we made it the highest working capital turn engine in the entire face. And what I did, what I did is after we gained that success. I said I got to get out of here because I am not that talented. They're doing all the work and I didn't understand what my genius. I did not because it was so easy. I didn't think there was any value in it. When something's easy, we don't think it's valuable because only hard stuff is valuable. We have bought into this thing. That if it's not hard, it's not worth anything. Then the thing that's easy for you is your moneymaker do that and people will throw money at you. It's not hard for me to speak, it's not hard for me to develop people. It's not hard for me to develop teams. This is why I get paid a lot of money to do them and I enjoy it in the process. I just didn't know it was a.
Speaker 1
47:40
Gift. Yeah that's fantastic. So much I could dive into but I have got a some rapid fire questions, then we will wrap up here. Mike this has been fantastic. What's one thing that people misunderstand about you?
Speaker 2
47:54
Nah, I am not selfish. I am. I am the most loving giving caring compassionate, empathetic human being walking. This planet. I am just not going to sacrifice myself for.
Speaker 1
48:06
Anyone. That's man, that's it. Got to be them. The mic drop quote for the episode right.
Speaker 2
48:13
There. Well, it's compact compassion and empathy or understanding other people's problems. It's not sharing in them. It's not, it's not watering yourself down for somebody else's benefit. Sure. It's not, it's not sacrificing your well-being because somebody else has a problem. It's caring about it and helping where you can but it's allowing them to grow and evolve as a human being as well. It's.
Speaker 1
48:34
Great, we have already talked a little bit about this but what's one of your biggest failures in life? Or regrets or however you want to frame it. Something you'd like a do-over for. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2
48:47
That's a hard one. When you look at everything as an opportunity, that's got you here. Yeah, here you go. I am gonna get emotional. I wrote, I haven't thought about this in a while. I wrote a little poem in my book and it talks about how I would play with my girls, and we would be on the floor, we'd be rolling around going to get emotional and, and we'd be pleasure that we danced, and they'd sing, and we'd be happy. And laugh together, and all of a sudden, after a couple too many beers, I would turn into a monster and start throwing s*** at him and get angry and that love would The anger for no reason and I hurt my angel's. I heard I beat those girls were precious and it was just the alcohol that did that. And I was not that guy but I had no control over that s*** at that.
Speaker 1
49:44
Time. Well, thank you for sharing that. Little lighter if you could have coffee with any historical figure. Who would you.
Speaker 2
49:55
Choose? Winston. Churchill.
Speaker 1
49:58
Okay.
Speaker 2
49:59
When the world's collapsing around you and all everything looks like failure is imminent, how do you keep it together? How do you when the entire world feels like it's against you and nobody show a note for you? How do you hold? How do you resolve? How do you hold this element of resolve that everything's going? To be okay, I love it. That's what I would ask them.
Speaker 1
50:23
If you were given 10 million dollars tomorrow just somebody wrote a check, no strings attached, what would you do with it? Keeping you on your toes, aren't.
Speaker 2
50:31
I? Yeah, this one. This one's a. This one's a good one. I have never heard this before. I would invest in my reach in this business. Is my business does a lot of good in this world and it helps a lot of people overcome a lot of what I like to call. Survival mode, mental emotional, spiritual Financial survival mode. This business does a lot of good, we have a large reach and it's increasing, and I would take that 10 million dollars and I would double down.
Speaker 1
51:03
Awesome. I mean, you clearly believe in what you do. It's what I do. Yeah. It's fantastic. What's speaking of your business? What's just one challenge? There's always. As a challenge. What's an internal challenge in your business that you're grappling with right?
Speaker 2
51:15
Now. Yeah, there's just this feeling and nobody's listening. Okay. We can scream loud, right? We're in a world of social media and where there's a cluttered social medium. And in people have warned, you know, are worn out on email marketing and you know, you got paid advertising and all the platforms or shifting algorithms. There's just, you know, it, the world is cluttered with influencers and being heard is Screaming louder doesn't always get your heard and really for us, it's not about the platform's, not about social media, we do okay there, but it's really about getting in front of audiences, because when we get in front of audience, people. Listen, but man, what a, what a cluttered world of influencers we live in and some, some who make a massive difference for others, and some who make a massive difference for themselves.
Speaker 1
52:08
That's, that's a great way to put it. Now, I know you had kind of taste of financial abundance prior to your to 2016 and then now you're making good money as well. How has Financial abundance made your life?
Speaker 2
52:24
Better margin on the word. The word, I will come back to. I love that word. Jamie that, that margin. It's I don't have to say yes when I want to say no, I don't have to say no when I want to say yes, I get to make my own Lisa's. And I got I have got room to breathe and I have got time to breathe and I have got resources for self-care and I can buy better quality food and I don't it doesn't come down to, you know, payroll or mortgage. I mean just there're the lights are going to stay on how the mortgage is going to get paid if an opportunity. If somebody can help me increase the reach and impact of this business, I can say yes. It money can't make you happy. But it will definitely give you a higher quality of life that allows you to explore Avenues to create more happiness in your life. Sure, gives your.
Speaker 1
53:20
Options. That's fantastic. We have already hit on how you like to serve others. That's basically been the whole show quite honestly. What's one question that you wish? I would ask that I haven't asked.
Speaker 2
53:32
Man, I wish you would have given me these before.
Speaker 1
53:38
It's all good. You know if there's anything you want. Head-on as far as, you know, your next book that's coming out or your podcast. Let us talk about any of that stuff.
Speaker 2
53:47
I am still thinking about the last question. I have it. Haven't left that one yet. Give me one second. And let me think through that about this. What's the biggest challenge that you see with people struggling to struggling, to get out of survival mode, go ahead and ask me. What's the.
Speaker 1
54:06
The biggest challenge that you see with people struggling to get out of survival mode? They don't believe in.
Speaker 2
54:11
Themselves enough.
Speaker 1
54:11
In.
Speaker 2
54:13
They don't believe in themselves enough every challenge. Every obstacle, every problem that I have had not been able to overcome. It's just because I didn't believe in myself enough. And that's the number one had locked. The people can get themselves in and this is y, and this is why we sacrifice ourselves. And this is why we stay in toxic relationships. And this is why we stay in toxic careers that we hate. This is why we set alarm clocks when we don't want to be because we don't believe in ourselves enough. You can have anything you want in this world. You can, you can do anything you want in this world, you can be anything you want in this world. The only problem is you don't believe in yourself.
Speaker 1
54:50
Enough. Love it. It's fantastic. All right, so the final question, where can our listeners find you online?
Speaker 2
54:59
Thanks for asking that question. My, our website is www.seannal.com global.com, we got some resources on there, but I am on all the socials right? Facebook connect with my personal Facebook page. There's A little might kick goes, but you will be able to point me out. I am the bald guy on. We do some ticked work on Tick-Tock, we're building a little bit of a tick tock following but yeah. Inner wealth global.com the socials I offer every once in a while. I offer some free workshops virtual Workshops the key. The key offering that we have is, I have a mastermind full of driven entrepreneurs that are looking for time and Financial and the freedom and freedom from worry, fear and doubt to me, that's the most critical to all this.
Speaker 1
55:51
Fantastic. So I already said that. I asked my final questions off to frame this as a statement. What? Describe to us your perfect Avatar. I am sure it's not, you know, just a super specific. I know you work with lots of different types of people across all walks of life. But who is your ideal client if you will?
Speaker 2
56:12
Yet, look Five percent of the people that I work with Not By Design or Real Estate Investors just because they value Freedom as why somebody gets in the real estate investment space because they value Freedom. They want freedom, and they want to live life on their own terms. My, my avatar is somewhere between 35 and 55 years old, they're, they're driven by Freedom there. They have lived life according to everybody else's design and, and how they were supposed to live. And they're just they're not full man, the they're empty, and they know there's their missing something, and they don't know. Are missing, and they know that as soon as they have it, they will be able to live life on their.
Speaker 1
56:47
Terms. I love it. It's fantastic Mike, how? Yeah, I did ask another question. So I already got a cut myself off here before I do it again but Mike KidCo. Thank you so much for joining us man. This has been.
Speaker 2
56:58
Fantastic. Jamie thanks for having me and I really appreciate your doing great work and it doesn't hurt that you're a Baltimore on man.
Speaker 1
57:06
I am absolutely. And your podcast name throw that out there for the.
Speaker 2
57:10
List yet. Thank you. The podcast the name is I would love Prophet play and it's available on all the major platforms, pretty proud of it. It's reached us six continents, and that's what I am saying. Well, I am on six continents, we have hit 42 countries and it's about 740 cities, around the world. I love it can impact any way.
Speaker 1
57:27
Possible. Looks like you have eighty-two episodes currently out and see her. You got a little bit of a jump on me so.
Speaker 2
57:35
We will get there. We will get there together again.
Speaker 1
57:38
Fantastic. Mike, this has been really, really good. I think this is, this is what I may listen to myself a few times. It's been very good. So thanks again with into our listener out there. Thank you so much for spending your most valuable resource with us and that is your time, we do appreciate you. When you ask that, you do like subscribe. But most importantly, share the show with a friend. Thanks everyone Take Care. Thank you for spending your most valuable resource with us your time. If you like the show, please share it with your friends and fellow podcast listeners, one entrepreneur to time, we can change the world. I will see you next time. I will see you next time.
